Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Twenty-eight crying babies that were supposed to go in my arms; or, BSC #13: Good-bye Stacey, Good-bye

Good riddance Stacey! Oh damn, you come back later. I thought we’d gotten rid of you.

So, Stacey’s dad gets transferred back to New York, and he won’t commute, so they’re moving back. Which I don’t get. They can’t be that far from New York, given that they’re near Stamford. So how come no one commutes into the city? I know commuting sucks, but still! Anyway, Stacey is torn between wanting to move back to the city and staying with all her friends in Stoneybrook. And how will she tell Charlotte? And how will they fit an entire house into an apartment? And what will the BSC do without her?

Well, they’re moving, so Stacey convinces her mom to let the BSC run a yard sale, which goes swimmingly. And the other girls, unbeknownst to Stacey, decide to use the money to throw a huge going away party with ALL THE KIDS THEY BABYSIT FOR. (I apologizes for the bad grammar, but the whole idea is just soooo appalling). And Dawn gets promoted to treasurer, and they invite Mallory to sort of audition for the BSC. And Stacey leaves, but has calling cards stating that she’s the New York branch of the BSC. And…curtain.

So, what’s to ridicule here? How about “Dawn Read Schafer?” Is that bad enough? How about the cover? There’s a SCARY sheet that says “See you soon Stacey,” and Stacey looks like a Stepford babysitter. And Claudia looks like Delta Burke. But freakiest of all? Dawn looks just like Snake from Degrassi (both the original and the next generation) but with long hair. It’s fuh-reaky.

Okay, the whole party thing? You’ve got to be kidding me. First, they spend all their profits from the yard sale on toys and prizes for the kids and a couple of cakes. And they all get messy and play little kid games. And that’s the most amazing party idea ever! According to all the girls anyway. Somehow I doubt that a group of 13-year-old are crazy psyched about a big party during which, they are essentially babysitting.

Also, this is the book that makes a big deal out of a classmate named Dorianne Wallingford. Yup. Classy.

Oh, and Stacey talks about how she and Claudia are “amazingly different, yet amazingly alike. For instance, Claudia is Japanese-American…I’m just American. Well, technically I guess I’m Scottish-American and French-American…Plus, Claudia is a terrible student but a great artist, and I’m a good student, but I don’t know a thing about art.” Oooh, what a list of similarities and differences.

Yes, Stacey thinks she’s old enough to get some charge cards. Oh, and the list of amazing stores in New York: Bloomingdale’s, Saks, Tiffany’s, Benetton, LAURA ASHLEY, Ann Taylor, Bonwit Teller, Bergdorf Goddman, and B. Altman’s. Yep, everyone’s favorite Laura, and what self-respecting 13-year-old shops at Ann Taylor. Isn’t a little, um, professional for the junior high set?

There’s actually a lot to bitch about in this one, but I have to go to bed. Stupid working early in the morning! Two more things, though.

1. I HATE THE WHOLE MORBIDDA DESTINY THING! SO STUPID!

2. Dawn actually says, “People in California don’t have yard sales.” MY ASS! Come on Cali readers, back me up on this one! I refuse to believe that nowhere in Southern California has there ever been a yard sale (or a more convoluted sentence).

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have to say, I love this blog so much. I check it obssessively for updates...seriously, why is it everything the baby-sitters do has to involve the kids they sit for? Don't they ever, I dunno, get tired of kids?

I kinda like the name "Read". Call me weird. But I am so with you on the Morbidda Destiny thing, and I hate how everyone indulges Karen and her stupid ideas. Why didn't someone just tell her to STFU when she started in with that shit?

-Jen

Holly said...

Haha, I'm pretty sure Californians love their yard sales as much as Connecticutians do. Seriously, wtf? Oh, and not everyone in California is blonde and in love with tofu, in case anyone was wondering.

I second the first post on loving this blog. I'm glad I'm not the only one who loves to hate (but really love) the BSC-my one true nerdy obsession.

Oh and I thought Laura Ashley was sooooo cool when I was younger. Hah, I was a great dresser when I was younger, you betcha.

Denise said...

The worst part about the "Read" name is that it's recycled within the series. One of Stacey's New York friends is named Read... I don't remember anything about her as a character, but I remember Stacey clarifying that Read is a girl.
Maybe it's because I'm from Florida, but I cringed, then laughed at loud, when I first read the part where the girls are preparing for the yard sale. Poems on the signs?! Your sign has to get the attention of people who are driving by, not cause an accident while they try to read a paragraph. And trying to charge full price for the clothes? I recall literally reading that out loud to my mom and grandma so they could laugh with me.
The party was just babysitting for free. I didn't believe that part for a minute.

deb said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
deb said...

I am sure when I was 8 I thought the part idea was super cool, but now as an adult (and one who has worked with middle school kids), I realize how ridiculous it is. It is one thing to want to baby-sit and another to want to spend all your free time with babies. These girls should be wanting to hang out, date, have parties with BOYS not babies, and pretty much do anything else beside baby-sit 24/7. AMM is so out of touch with 13-year-old girls.

Keep blogging. I love it and read it obsessively, too.

Miss Scarlet said...

SO true about commuting from Conn. What does her dad do? Do they say?

Abbey said...

Yard sales are a common occurrence here in California. : )

And yep, as Holly said, not all are blond and obsessed with tofu...though there are more here than when I lived in Kentucky! : )

Love this site! It amazes me how much I've forgotten about the storylines of the books...esp. considering how many times I've read each of them!

Anonymous said...

Not only do the SC-ians have garage sales but they have fancy garage sale signs to match. I am not sure if you want to follow this incredibly long link... but somehow it made me laugh with your blog and this connection...

http://infoweb.newsbank.com/iw-search/we/InfoWeb?p_action=doc&p_topdoc=1&p_docnum=1&p_sort=YMD_date:D&p_product=NewsBank&p_text_direct-0=document_id=(%2011215D55B65D0C06%20)&p_docid=11215D55B65D0C06&p_theme=aggregated4&p_queryname=11215D55B65D0C06&f_openurl=yes&p_nbid=&&p_multi=SDUB

little miss sunshine said...

What's going to happen when we run out of BSC books.......may i suggest SWEET VALLEY HIGH???

Tiff said...

At the rate I'm going, I'll be working on the BSC for quite a while. If I get crazy ambitious, i'll do all the mysteries. (I'll probably throw a few favorites in, like the one where Mary Anne finds out she lived with her grandparents for a few months). So, don't worry too much, I'll be slogging through these books for ages.

Jennifer R said...

Bwahahahah, Californians don't have yard sales, my arse.

Okay, so I'm a NorCal bitch and I can't speak for SoCal chicks, but don't speak for the entire state, Dawn. (Anyone ever wonder how much the writer knew about CA?)

And I may be blonde and eat tofu once in awhile, but sheesh, that's not everybody. Nor do I surf. Ever.

Steffi said...

i lived in Pasadena, CA for almost a year, there were yard sales. take that.

madrigalia said...

Just don't do the "Little Sister" series about Karen. GOD I HATED THOSE. Especially when you got one for a birthday or something and had to pretend it was what you wanted. No one voluntarily read those, I bet.

rachel said...

karen is the biggest idiot alive. i actually read the little sister books before the bsc books, and while they do manage to make karen seem like a little less of a twat (coming from her perspective, it's not as annoying), i completely hated karen in the bsc books. my favorite is when the movie star kid comes to town and karen wants him to make her a star. puke.

as for stacey's dad's job, afaik his job title was "workaholic."

Anonymous said...

Ann Taylor for 13 year olds? I have a few things there and I even feel middle aged. That's like where my mother shops...

sarah said...

Oh good lord she really does look like Snake! All she needs is a receeding hairline and she'll look like his trying-to-regain-his-rockin-youth-so-the-Zit-Remedy-goes-on-tour alter-ego.

Guinastasia said...

I am so loving this blog.

I can just imagine Stacey's parents when they ask for the money from the yard sale. "What? Your friends sold OUR stuff and then spent the money?"

What was the one where the snob kids get the pool, and everyone wants to come over and swim in it? Yeah, like I'm sure any reasonable parent is going to allow THAT. (An eleven year old babysitter is absurd enough-a parent allowing their kids to have friends over to SWIM when you only have an eleven year old in charge-that's just asking for a lawsuit).

Miss Scarlet said...

Oh my gosh, Sweet Valley! Now I want to go read those...

Sara said...

I can't believe you didn't mention the part where Charlotte Johanssen has an episode because Stacey dedicates a book to her! Classic moment.

"Charlotte stared at the book for a long time. Then she burst into tears."

End of chapter.

WTF, ANM?

Anonymous said...

I grew up in Orange County and our neighborhood had an annual "garage sale" every year. It was an entire housing tract on sale at one time sponsored by local real estate agents. My sister and I used to sell hot dogs and sodas in the front yard to shoppers.

ccburd said...

I live in the OC, NEWPORT BEACH, of all places, and even those f-ing snobs have garage sales! ANM is retarded and clearly never left New England. I HATE KAREN. THE ONLY thing WORSE than Morbidda Destiny is her stupid ass game "LET'S ALL COME IN." I HATE when they play that game; I just skip the whole chapter. And the dumb cat boo-boo!!

Molly said...

Wow, I just discovered this blog and it fills me with joy.

As another Californian (who has spent the last four years in Massachusetts), yes! Garage sales! With the having! It's those crazy New Englanders who don't have them! They have TAG SALES.

amanda said...

I was born and raised in California - I have brown hair, brown eyes, the one time I tried tofu I gagged, and I used to regularly hold garage sales and track them down. Just for the record.


I love your blog! I read this series religiously as a kid (my mom signed me up for the book club - I got three books every month, lucky me), and never saw the humor in them until now. (Granted, the last time I actually read one was over ten years ago).

Mols said...

Re: Morbidda Destiny -- omg, yes, pretty much anything to do with Karen just got old, fast. She must have been one of Martin's favorite characters, the way she indulged that child in so many books.

And how come almost every time anyone babysat for the Brewer/Thomases, Karen & Andrew were present? Hello, they only lived there every other weekend! What are the odds?

Grace said...

Oh man, you are ruining my childhood! I loved these books so much and remembered them fondly, but now you're making me see how much they suck. XD I'm enjoying it immensely, though.

Oh yeah, and I've lived in CA (So Cal, at that) all my life and there are yard sales pretty much everywhere. You can't go out on a Saturday or Sunday without seeing a bunch.

hwong14 said...

To this day, anytime I pass by a yard sale or for some reason need to buy small stickers/labels, I remember that the BSC went NUTS over the assortment of price tags they had (stickers for some things, and tags with string for things you didn't want to get gummy, like stuffed animals), and that the crazy yard sale customers showed up way early and ended up making offers on the car in the driveway and the shutters on the house. I just had that flashback as recently as last weekend, I swear.

mayra said...

well as a so cal girl (i live in san diego) i can honestly say what dawn said about garage sales is complete and utter B.S. we have neighbors that have garage sales like every frikin saturday. it's kind of annoying acutually.

oh and i'm not blonde, but i do like tofu :)

Anonymous said...

Total WORD on the yard sale in CA thing. That quote always weirded me out. I live in the Central Valley and there certainly are yard sales. I hated how these books stereotyped Californians so much, and how ALL of Dawn's friends were blonde vegetarians. I have, like, one blonde friend.

Dude, do these girls EVER take a break? If someone gave me a going-away party and there were ALL THE KIDS I SAT FOR there, I wouldn't be quite so happy. I could understand maybe Charlotte coming cuz of the "almost-sister" thing, but seriously, can't they ever just have a normal party? I get bored reading about carnivals and parades and stuff; I want to read about fights and boyfriend troubles, you know what I mean?

Again, total WORD on everything. And your blog rules.

Wanderlusting said...

Ha ha, I can SEE that cover in my head!

Mystic Lover of Fairy Tales said...

I live in California and we so have yard sales,I've actually picked up a few bSC books at yard sales.Ann M.Martin seemed to have a pretty screwed up idea of what California is really like actually so did Francine Pascal of the Sweet Valley books. especially since now we mostly have people of Latin descent.Your blogs are funny.Oh could you do "Keep out,Claudia" I was just rereading that one,cause I was bored.